Sketch #2 - Sisqo and Ebert

INT. STUDIO - DAY

Two men are sitting at chairs in the dark.

V.O.

Welcome to At the Movies with your hosts Sisqó and Ebert.

LIGHTS UP

Roger Ebert and Sisqó sit facing the camera.

EBERT

Hello and welcome to this week’s edition of At the Movies. I’m Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun Times.

SISQó

I’m Sisqó of Def Jam Soul.

EBERT

Lets start off with our first movie that came out this week, Green Lantern. Here we have a classic comic book character with it’s first blockbuster treatment and well the lantern is very dim.

SISQó

I would even go as far as to say that the lantern wasn’t even on. Ryan Reynolds plays Hal Jordan, a fighter pilot chosen to become the Green Lantern. While I enjoyed the special effects, the laborious expository drags the film down. And even though I did see characters with silver hair, I would say that even that could not save my opinion of the movie.

EBERT

I would agree. I have to give it a thumbs down.

SISQó

I as well. But our next movie I thoroughly enjoyed. For our retrospective film we watched Last Tango in Paris, starring an older Marlon Brando and Maria Schneider. The film, ooooh, hit all the right places.

EBERT

It’s really a fascinating study on Brando at that point of his career. He is so exposed in the film that it’s such spectacle to watch.

SISQó

Absolutely. And while I thought the raw sexual vibe the characters displayed was honest, I felt that Maria could have worn more thongs.

EBERT

As more of an accurate dress for her character?

SISQó

Not at all. She’s just got a great booty.

EBERT

So if you had to rate this film as if it was released today, what would you give it?

SISQó

Thumbs up for acting, story and cinematography. Thumbs down for lack of thongs.

EBERT

I would have to agree with you there. Now Sisqo would like to give a short editorial on the recent craze of 3D filmmaking. Sisqó.

SISQó

3D filmmaking is not new. In fact since it’s introduction into the public in the 1920’s, 3D filmmaking has had its ups and downs like any other genre. But unlike the western or the musical, 3D films cost a lot of money to make. And while the experience of seeing characters wearing bright red leather clothing might be up my particular alley, I believe this is an example of the product not quite being worth the effort of the process.

EBERT

Thank you. And until next week the balcony is closed.

As the lights dim, Sisqó gets out of his seat and starts break dancing.

LIGHTS DOWN