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Rejected Onion Headlines
Reports Say Christopher Guest Probably Not Making Another Film
Area Woman Realizes No One Loves The Golden Girls As Much As Her
Rejected Area Man Throws In The Towel And Gets a Sex Doll
Weird Shoplifter Promises Authorities He's David Blaine
Area Man Keeps Going On About How Good This Orange Tastes
Area Boy Dumbfounded By Missing Lego
Area Woman Has Had All She Can Handle Of Joan Embery
New Poll Suggests People Still Go Bowling
Apologetic Yo Yo Ma Forgets Cello At Home
Religious Woman Restrains Herself When People Start Talking About Abortion
Ice T Admits To Becoming Rapper After Failing The Police Academy
Oscar Winner Meryl Streep To Play Shitty Actress In Next Film
Restless Son Of Christopher Nolan Now Unable To Sleep After Father's Bed Time Story
Amateur Photographer Seriously Wants To Break Into Erotic Photography
Despite His Change, Hillary Clinton Still Unable To Forgive Bill
Divorced Woman Surprised When No One Notices Her Walking Naked In The Living Room
Reporter Unsure Of Where They Placed Sources Material
School Shooter Sleeps Through Alarm, But Still Makes It To First Period
Area Man Sees Empty Toilet Roll Halfway Through A Massive Shit
Area Woman Realizes No One Loves The Golden Girls As Much As Her
Rejected Area Man Throws In The Towel And Gets a Sex Doll
Weird Shoplifter Promises Authorities He's David Blaine
Area Man Keeps Going On About How Good This Orange Tastes
Area Boy Dumbfounded By Missing Lego
Area Woman Has Had All She Can Handle Of Joan Embery
New Poll Suggests People Still Go Bowling
Apologetic Yo Yo Ma Forgets Cello At Home
Religious Woman Restrains Herself When People Start Talking About Abortion
Ice T Admits To Becoming Rapper After Failing The Police Academy
Oscar Winner Meryl Streep To Play Shitty Actress In Next Film
Restless Son Of Christopher Nolan Now Unable To Sleep After Father's Bed Time Story
Amateur Photographer Seriously Wants To Break Into Erotic Photography
Despite His Change, Hillary Clinton Still Unable To Forgive Bill
Divorced Woman Surprised When No One Notices Her Walking Naked In The Living Room
Reporter Unsure Of Where They Placed Sources Material
School Shooter Sleeps Through Alarm, But Still Makes It To First Period
Area Man Sees Empty Toilet Roll Halfway Through A Massive Shit
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