Adult Swim 11-9-06

Del Close Marathon 13: Day 1

The Del Close Marathon is the biggest improv event in the world. 3 days of an obscene amount of improv and it's hands down the best weekend of the year for me. This year was special to me partly because it was my 5th year going to the festival, but more so because I was in it! More on that on Day 2.

I got out of work early to head over to line up around 2:30pm.

THE BROTHERS TOWNSEND.

WILL AND THE COOPERS WITH A SMALL SOFT DRINK.

RUDEL GOING IN.

RILEY BRANDISHING HIS DCM PASS.

THE PRESS AND YOWIE.

RILEY AND ALEXIS CONFERRING.

The Press Conference

-Besser, Walsh, Roberts and Horatio were present. They did a scene where Roberts played Stevie Wonder who was about to be informed by Horatio (Stevie’s new assistant) that Michael Jackson died. Even in that scene you could see the game being hit, resting it and hitting it again.They are the best.

THE UCB SANZ AMY BUT PLUS HORATIO.

STEVIE WONDER AND HIS LAYERS OF SECURITY.

Outlook of the Poet

- Did a medieval themed monoscene, where Gavin was “Vinnie” who through a pizza truck time portal went back in time.

VINNIE.

Bassprov

-Scott Adsit and Matt Walsh sat in with Bassprov. Seeing Adsit work in a group like that was phenomenal. He was the definition of giving what the scene needs and not a drop over.

MAKING DEALS.

Sentimental Lady

-Not only are they one of the best UCB LA teams, but they are also just one of the best overall.  Their form of going back to a main scene, creating information and then just tagging to see those little scenes started slow, but once they got on a roll, they destroyed. Best improv show of the night by far. 

IN THE JUNGLE.

FERNIE!

NAILING DOWN SHOES BY OWEN BURKE.

Nailed Down

-Delaney and Secunda were mob men who were waiting for a produce truck to come so they could stock their produce stand, which was a front. Delaney had a great sub game where he would keep naming movie lines and plead with Secunda to name them, which he couldn’t.

SECUNDA & DELANEY

Revolver

-Great team, great set. They had a group game where they called back a heist situation where a woman was holding a gun, but the odd way of how she was holding it got called out as a hook. This ensued to “well there’s a gun on that hook!” 

-She ended up reading a dirty limirick written by one of the kids that was about eating out a cat’s pussy. It destroyed. 

-In another scene while a man was being executed, a family member of the victum was brought in to see the execution at which point he looked at a flag (which had been a reoccurring motif in the set) and just said “Well would you look at that.” So simple so funny.

-A kid mentioned to his mother about how she loves her other son, that died when he was six, more than him. Cut to the mother having a large child sit on her lap and him telling her about the kids making fun of him because he has an enlarged heart that can’t sustain him. Very funny.

 

HOOK GUN.

Cannon and Gausas

COW DRAMA.

Doug Benson's Doug Loves Movies Podcast Live

BESSER RUINING DOUG'S SURPRISE FOR WHO'S ON HIS SHOW.

The Back Room

-Rob Lathan’s Nihilist Jeff Foxworth was so on point with his cadence it was surreal. “If you put monopoly money in a collection tray at church and don’t think its bad because there is no god, then you might be a nihilst.

-Adomian’s Sheriff of Nottingham played by Alan Rickman was all in the stage presence. He owns any character he does, but even he couldn’t hold it together for Lathan’s Foxworthy. No one could.

-Santangelli as a high school narc. "Come on guys. Who's doing drugs?"

-Owen Burke as a character simply named Shortcuts.

-Darryl Strawberry. Nuff said

DARRYL'S GOT THE MAGIC STICK, SON.

The Panel

Christian Lighthouse Players

-Gethard was Crystal Meth Mark humming prayer songs which led from Amazing Grace to Rudolf the Red nose reindeer. Klepper saying "Like a light bulb!" whether Crystal Meth Mark was singing Rudolf or a different song.

-Walsh was so high he could not keep it together. 

-Anthony played the weird pastor who just fucked all the kids.

CRYSTAL METH MARK SERENADING.

OH BOY.

Wicked Fuckin' Queeyah

-Watch a video of it if you can find it. It would be a disservice to the show to try to describe it and the pure joy one can get out of it.

 

PURNS GETTING YOU F****** READY FOR REAL MAKE EM UPS.

SUPPORT WARK.

FUCKIN OBJECT WORK.

The DCM AM Zoo Crew!

-Best New Bit Show.

-Perfect for 15 min slot where someone would just create a weird name for the  two people who came out making them have to talk as those characters. It was funny and quick. Can't ask for more.

PURNELL AND THE GAY WEREWOLF.

"EVERYTHING IS COMING UP...BOLOGNA."

Classic Masculinity

BRIAN'S BACK!

The Del Harris Marathon

-"Jump Ball!" 

-The show quickly devolved into a meta set about calling out improv moves like basketball moves to the point where it just became a one on one basketball game. With Terry Withers as the audible basketball hoop.

The Green Crew

-Anthony, Neil and Will did a living room set where they talked about NYC socialism, buying property and having moments.

Adult Swim 11-8-06

The Dogs Are Out To Get Us

An essay I wrote for Splitsider.com. You can check it out on their site here.

Alright listen up. We got another young girl found dead on Fuller Street. Yeah, I hear you. The third one like this in four days. We got to work this case hard, guys. If we do that we’ll get the sonofabitch. We don’t have much time, but we’ll get this goddamn dog even if it means I get demoted to training new brick heads like you. This has got to stop in MY city one way or the other. And I won’t let another cute, small dog, kill another innocent girl!

God damn it! One-day people will realize the danger of having these animals as pets.

Preliminary reports suggests that the dog slobbered on her…post mortem. One sick bastard. Once again I want to stress caution, in case you encounter this twisted animal.

You should all have the psyche profile on our suspect we received this morning. Use it. It’s fairly standard deranged-psychotic-killer-dog stuff. The concrete evidence we do have: He’s a half-breed Chihuahua. Name: Rico. Origin: Mexico. He was trained at a local adoption center. He has no tags and of course isn’t spayed or neutered. Then again they never are…

Because Rico doesn’t have any tags, the adoption organization didn’t know his background. Call it human error or an inefficiency in the system, either way, he got through the cracks. He’s been on the FBI’s Most Hounded List for over 5 dog years. Moving from one family to the next, always running away. This time he ran his way right into our victim’s heart.

Awareness was our main tool to get the word out about this animal. But today, we go back to old school beat copping. Getting out in the alleys. Canvassing dog parks. Leaning on some crooked vets. Hit a dog spa or two. Don’t be above shaking down a couple of dog treat makers, either. Do what it takes to stop these senseless killings. Period. After that, it’s up to whatever God you pray to. Because no one should have suffered like Halley did.

Rico was given to Halley for her 15th birthday. Treated it well. But to Rico, Halley was just another chew toy. To use and abuse. What really gets me is that she trusted him. She believed Rico was her friend. I mean look at her!

What kind of ruthless sonofabitch looks into eyes like Halley’s knowing he’s going to scratch them out like the fluff from a new La-Z-Boy? I’ll tell you what kind. The murdering kind.

Sure their petite frame and doe eyes make them seem cute, but deep down I know they’re all killers. Some people, some dog breath lovers might say, “Well they weren’t always like this. They were nice once.”

No. They were always killers. We… I…I just didn’t know it yet…

I shoulda known. One of those things was in my house! An English Toy Terrier, in my house! And I bought the damn thing for my daughter. And Sebastian licked my face. It made me love it. And then it went and killed my baby. Is that what you want?

Is that what you want for your little girl? Huh? To find you’re beautiful daughter tied up in a dog leash, dead from having been yapped to death!

I didn’t think so. The best we can do is catch Rico and pry his manicured paws away from the next innocent girl, before we’re prying those girl’s corpses out of the holes Rico digs up.

Then we’ll close this case and find some peace. The wife and I don’t sleep much anymore. How can you when you have to live with the guilt? I suspect none of you do either. But we’ll beat this. We have to. For Halley. For my sweet Emily. Because if we don’t, then we’re just opening the floodgates in our city for kittens, and God help us…parakeets. And I know none of you want to be pulling bloated dead bodies out of birdbaths anytime soon.

We’re in a grim business, but someone’s got to do it.

Now get out there and catch me that sonofabitch.

Quote #1

 
Racism is a bitch. I mean white people you gotta know. It fucks you up, but what it does to black people is a bitch. Because no matter—it’s hard enough being a human being. It’s really fucking hard enough just to be that. Just to go through everyday life without murdering a motherfucker is hard enough. Just to walk through life, decent as a person. But here another element is added to it when you black. Motherfuckers got that little edge on us. It’s enough to make you crazy. Is if you are in an argument with another man, he maybe white, but it’s man on man for a minute and shit get rough, he end up calling you “Nigger!” You got to go “Ah shit. Fuck. Now I ain’t no man no more. Nigger now. I gotta argue with that shit. Fucked my balance all off now.”

But it’s an ugly thing. I hope someday they give it up.

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Adult Swim 11-2-06

Scene Work #13

Connor Ratliff & Dan Black

Breaking #3

Brandon Gulya

In The Audience Tonight #1

Jokes #2

Andy Rocco

Scene Work #12

David Bluvband & Phillip Jackson