LOST Season 6 countdown: 7 Days

S05E03 - "Jughead"

S05E04 - "The Little Prince"

S05E05 - "This Place is Death"

S05E06 - "316"

S05E07 - "The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham"

S05E08 - "LaFleur"

S05E09 - "Namaste"

LOST Season 6 countdown: 13 Days

Well it's coming back and I thought I would do a countdown to the new season by re-watching the 5th season and showing screen captures from each episode.

S05E01 - "Because You Left"

S05E02 - "The Lie"

Malcolm Tucker Gets Mad

It's a redundant statement actually.

The Secret Life of Conan O'Brien #2

(Tonight Show Cancellation Edition)

Conan laughs at NBC:

Conan's secret is out:

Adult Swim 2-6-07

Screen Capture #5

The Colbert Report

Adult Swim 2-5-07

Adult Swim 2-1-07

The advertisement responsible:

Adult Swim 2-2-07

Look Up #2

Adult Swim 1-29-07

Adult Swim 1-27-07

Screen Capture #4

The Thick of It

Before They Were Famous #1

Tina Fey (plus Rob Corddry)

Screen Capture #3

Parks and Recreation

Adult Swim 1-25-07

--Til Close #1

Adult Swim 1-24-07

Non-Prominent American Flag #3

Screen Capture #2

The Colbert Report

Adult Swim 1-23-07

Adult Swim 1-22-07

The Secret Life of Conan O'Brien #1

Look Up #1

That’s One Small Step for A Man

I'm not here to cause controversy or to stir things that are perfectly complacent in where they are, but I do want to tell the truth. Neil Armstrong's famous statement "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." was said as he stepped on the moon's surface. The first man (in the general sense of human kind, not meaning specifically male, even though there have been no women on the moon) to really conquer another planet was a profound moment in human history and no words greater described that moment than Armstrong's words. If it was really his words to begin with.

Neil Armstrong has said that he thought of the famous line while eating lunch after his shuttle had landed on the moon. This, I'm sorry to say, is a lie. Think about it. Isn't it convenient to think of the most profound statement signifying mankind's quest to conquer space, to have occurred while having a turkey club sandwich? I think it's a little too convenient. Maybe if it was a tuna melt, I’d reconsider, but it wasn't and I’m not.

Actually it started a few weeks before Apollo 11's launch. Neil Armstrong was lying in bed, reading a book to relax himself to sleep (as he does every night), when his wife (at the time), Janet, asked from the bathroom "Neil, hunny, what are you going to say?"

"What do you mean, dear?" Neil replied.

"Well, on the transmission." Janet said as she exited the bathroom and climbed into bed. "We're all going to be able to hear what you say when you step on the moon."

Neil was a little perplexed by the thought.

"Gee, I didn't think about what I would say." Neil replied.

"I'm sure something simple will be just fine.” Janet said “You could say anything and it wouldn't matter because you were on the moon when you said it."

Janet assured Neil not to be worried and Neil smiled and kissed his wife. But Neil was worried. He didn't know what he was going to say. He started to spend his free time reading books, listening to the top songs of the day, anything that would give him inspiration for what to say.

It became dire once the launch neared. Janet began to see that Neil was stressed out. She just chalked it up to going to the moon, but Neil was actually petrified of not being able to find something to say when he is on the moon.

Two nights before the launch, in a housing complex that NASA put the Armstrong family in, Neil was distressed. At that point Neil was debating between saying something funny like a Groucho Marx's quote "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." or something serious like "Never fear the abyss beyond you." (Which is often attributed to a line from a bathroom stall). That night, after being unable to get to sleep, he decided to take a walk.

Neil walked some miles to a park, thinking about what to say, when something got his attention. It was a homeless man who was piling bottles on the grass. Neil assumed he was drunk, since the homeless man's pants were off and because he kept yelling, "So what if I'm drunk." to someone who wasn't there. Neil fingered his pockets for his wallet and drew out a few dollars. He walked over to the homeless man and gave him the money.

"Thanks mister." the homeless man said.

"No problem." Neil replied.

"Wait. You're the astronaut aren't you?" the homeless man asked.

"Yes, how did you know?" Neil said, surprised.

"I saw you in the newspapers. My house is made out of them.” the homeless man said. "Gonna walk on the moon, right?"

Neil nodded sullenly.

“I don’t know what I’m going to say?” Neil said quietly. He began to tell the homeless man how he had been struggling with what he would say when he was on the moon. Neil asked the homeless man what he would say, but the homeless man just turned around and started to tend to his bottles.

Neil nodded his head and turned to walk away. As he did the homeless man turned and said, "One small step for man, one giant leap for frog people. Just wait until the frog people go on the moon. They'll jump so high."

Neil continued walking, trying to shrug off the ridiculous statement, but later as Neil lied down on his bed, he soon started to think that the homeless man might have something. "One small step for man" was the beginning of a pretty good line, Neil thought. The frog people part, well he decided against it when he put his left foot on the lunar surface six days later, but who could blame a plagiarist for covering his tracks?

Neil knew no one would believe the homeless man if he claimed the line was stolen from him. No one, until right now. I used to be that homeless man and one day, when frog people do go to the moon, they’ll jump so high!

Adult Swim 1-16-07

Adult Swim 1-15-07

Adult Swim 1-13-07

Rats With Wings #1

Adult Swim 1-12-07

Adult Swim 1-11-07

Screen Capture #1

Arrested Developement

Adult Swim 1-9-07

Bob Fossil (From the Mighty Boosh) Talks to a Baby

Oh, look it's a baby. Hey baby. You’re in a stroller aren’t you baby? Do you like that stroller baby? That carriage made out of flower petals and cheap, harmful plastic? Yeah I bet you like that stroller, baby. You're such a baby. (laughs) I was a baby once, baby. Yeah back when Carter was president and lama skins were illegal. My mom even called me baby, because she didn’t know how to say my name. She would just give my bottle and call me baby, then she would leave with her bottle and get called baby by some mustached Ted Danson look a like. What's your name, baby? I bet its Nathaniel. Hey look everybody this baby's name is Nathaniel. (laughs) I'm just messing, baby. You look like a Jim Brown or a BJ Mankowitz. Maybe I’ll ask your mom when she gets back from the toaster store. She seems like a nice lady. I mean don’t get me wrong I’d stick it in her, but real classy like.

(silence)

Hey, baby. Have you heard the one about the tarantula and the leopard? No? Oh. I read it in a joke book by this guy named R.T. Scott. He’s like some kind of journalist who rescued animals from weirdo-pervert circus people. Then after a tortoise blinded him, he wrote down all these jokes he learned from the horny circus people. It’s really funny. One time I read it on a train and I laughed so hard I puked on a Japanese businessman’s shoes. He was pissed.

(silence)

You sure don’t talk much little guy. Are you even a guy? (checks) Yeah, you're definitely a man, baby. You’ve got some cock on you, baby. It's like a stuffed turkey neck. (laughs) I’ve never seen one so big. Hey baby have you ever thought of doing pornos? You know wank rags, erotic kaleidoscopes, that kind of stuff? It would be awesome. The woman would come in and see your soft white baby body and then she'd see your big black cock and be like "I want to ride that Dalmatian station." (laughs) We could make a lot of money, baby. I’d be your like manager slash personal caterer and we’d tour the upper northwest. We could make some real dough. I promise no one will exploit your freaky cock, baby. Scouts honor.

(silence)

Oh, here comes your mommy. I guess I’ll be going, baby. I’m not so good with goodbyes. So, umm, you stink, baby. (sniffs) Oh wait that’s me. I forgot I wrestled a fishmonger this morning for a Kit Kat. Well if you ever want to see some animals come to my zoo, Bob Fossil’s Fun World. It’s the only place in town where babies and scorpions can gamble on zombie pictures.

Adult Swim 1-8-07

This an ongoing series on the now defunct "Welcome" page on Adultswim.com. During that time this was the first thing you would see when you got to Adultswim.com and you would click the picture to enter the site. I don't have every single day, but I have a majority of them.

We start with my earliest recorded welcome page. It's very welcoming as you can tell.

Pets With Looks #1

Building Art #2

Looking Out Windows #2

Non-Prominent American Flag #2

Waiting For... #1

Colbert Word - Week of July 19th

(Disclaimer: I am not associated with the Colbert Report. These are Word segments that I have written on my own from news stories cited. This is purely for practice sake.)



(Source articles: Drivers and Legislators Dismiss Cellphone Risks)

Colbert Word - Week of July 5th

(Disclaimer: I am not associated with the Colbert Report. These are Word segments that I have written on my own from news stories cited. This is purely for practice sake.)

(Source articles: Obama Says He Supports Kremlin Chief on More Freedoms for Russia
Obama Raises Concerns About Freedom and Judicial Independence in Russia
Russia to Open Airspace to U.S. for Afghan War)

Lunch Break #1

Colbert Word - Week of June 28th

(Disclaimer: I am not associated with the Colbert Report. These are Word segments that I have written on my own from news stories cited. This is purely for practice sake.)



(Source article: Teenagers Are Building Their Own Job Engine)

Colbert Word - Week of June 21st

(Disclaimer: I am not associated with the Colbert Report. These are Word segments that I have written on my own from news stories cited. This is purely for practice sake.)

(Source articles: Drug Makers Agree to Offer Medicare Discounts
House Unveils Health Bill, Minus Key Details)

People in Profile #1

Colbert Word - Week of June 14th

(Disclaimer: I am not associated with the Colbert Report. These are Word segments that I have written on my own from news stories cited. This is purely for practice sake.)

(Source articles:

Unrest in Iran Deepens as Leading Critics Are Detained

Biden Questions Vote but Sticks to Policy on Iran
U.S. Officials to Continue to Engage Iran)

Colbert Word - Week of June 4th

I'm going to try to make this a weekly thing. 

(Disclaimer: I am not associated with the Colbert Report. These are Word segments that I have written on my own from news stories cited. This is purely for practice sake.)

(Source article: Next Test: Value of $125,000-a-Year Teachers)

Under Construction #1

Non-Prominent American Flag #1

Building Art #1

Looking Out Windows #1

As in homage to one of my favorite blogs, I will start posting pictures that I have taken. I hope you enjoy. We start with Looking Out Windows #1.

Xavier: Renegade Angel

With the final episode of the 2nd season airing, I thought I would post an article on Xavier: Renegade Angel. Xavier is one of my favorite shows and a shining example of marvelous writing with mind bending humor.

Forged from 2/4ths of the minds behind the art collective, PFFR, (who were also responsible for Wonder Showzen; the show about kids, for anyone, but kids), Vernon Chatman and John Lee bring us, Xavier: Renegade Angel. A CGI animated show about a philosophical “being” named Xavier who goes around interjecting himself into people’s lives, problems, minds, etc. It seems that wherever Xavier shouldn’t be, he’s there.

Few shows boast such intellectually dense episodes (clocking at 11 minutes each) that can often be supplemented with the most crass, lowbrow comedy you could think of. It’s not odd to sit through an episode and not be able to come out the end with something tangible. It’s become almost a requirement to watch an episode a few times to really understand what’s going on. Even at a certain point it feels like you’re being fucked with, which is part of what Chatman and Lee wants to do (I think). (Side note: Read this recent interview with The AV Club about their show to see more on that point.)

An example of that would from their previous show, Wonder Showzen, where on the final episode of the first season, (called “Patience”) the last 15 minutes of the show was the first 15 minutes, in reverse. Not surprisingly (to them or the viewers) the show was canceled in its second season. Xavier carries much of the same mentality as that example, but plays with the audience so well, that it can often leave you laughing and frustrated.

When you have 11 minutes to do a show, you really have to get the story out, but Xavier can be on two different spectrums. It can be so dense with jokes and story, that it’s to fast to follow, requiring subsequent viewings, or so mundane in its forward action that it can become essentially a talking head. Like in the episode “Shakashuri Blowdown”, Xavier “battles” himself with words that leads to more than half the episode of back and forth dialogue that absolutely goes no where.

The first episode of the first season Xavier postulates the existential question “What doth life?” and it seems to be the running theme of the show. A philosophical question that is virtually unanswerable and through the distractions and absurdities that Xavier takes us through, the question almost seems to be useless and hollow to begin with. Xavier is the type of character to ask those questions, but would be totally uninterested in finding the answer. It’s not surprising then that the writers of the show will often go out of it’s way to make a joke or to shit on something deep and meaningful, to express how consuming those questions can be. They’re able to take this daft character and dismantle institutions like religion, consumerism, violence, sex, the things that we all are aware of, but futile to stop it. (The episode “Signs from Godrilla” not only tackle all of those in 11 minutes, but does it hilariously.) It’s through this meandering, clueless character that embodies what our culture has become. Xavier himself talks like a surfer, looks nothing like a human, but has all of the stereotypical tropes a human character would have. He’s picked on because he looks different, by ignorant people, but soon learns their ignorance and picks on other people. His God is not Jesus or Allah, but himself; self-righteous and sure he can solve anyone’s problems. Xavier is more than a mirror to society, he is society, self aware, but uninterested in changing and above all, looking to be entertained.

That’s if you look that deep into the show. The show is made for you to laugh and if you learn something, that might be the opposite effect of what Chatman and Lee want. Or is it? Needless to say, there are few artistic things that challenge the viewer in its complacency and Xavier not only does it, but also makes fun of the fact that they have to do it.

Tisch Film Review: February

Articles on the Tisch Film Review for the month of February '09.

Nicolas Roeg: An Auteur’s Visual Journey

2 or 3 Things on 2 Or 3 Things I Know About Her